February 2, 2013

I realized it's been since December 2011 since my last post.  I'm so glad my wife suggested I create this blog as it allows me to reflect on my journey since making the decision to become alcohol free.  It's also allowed me to share this story for a few interested family and friends but perhaps more important, its allowed me to share with a few people interested in a similar journey.

Cutting to the chase, I remain completely alcohol free.  The only kinda/sorta slip was this last Christmas when I mowed into a piece of dessert before asking about the contents.  It was a rum cake and I gotta tell you it was obvious as soon as I took my first bite.  I didn't finish it and quickly realized I need to be careful during this season.

So, for me the Shick Shadel treatment has worked perfectly.  I remain repulsed with the thought of drinking but more importantly the treatment allowed me to put enough distance from alcohol that I understand I can live without it.  Life has become so much better for me and my immediate family.  I no longer have the erratic behavior which had become so common.  Of course, this is not to say I'm perfect.  Sometimes I revert back to the jerk I can be or blurt out what I think is funny which can be in poor taste but what the heck...who's perfect?

It's been since Nov, 2010 that I've woke up with a hangover or the shame of losing control due to another night of binge drinking.  I can now comfortably go into a social setting where alcohol is being consumed without the least bit of interest in joining in on the drinkfest.  It remains a bit challenging to speak with people who are buzzed...especially with someone slamming the red wine.  Did you ever notice how pungent red wine is...???  The wine smell is not only strong but generally the red color has completely affected the teeth, and rest of the inside of the mouth of the person drinking.  It's like talking to a vampire who just feasted.  You really notice this when not drinking and especially after experiencing the Duffy treatment (yuck).  The other thing that's challenging is having a conversation with someone you know who is buzzed or drunk.  I notice the change in consciousness of the person who has been drinking.  They really change and become very difficult to relate to.  It seems to be a waste of time and immediately has me thinking of getting away from them ASAP.  Thsi is probably not completely fair to the person drinking but it is what it is.

My drink of choice remains cranberry juice + club soda. I drink alot more coffee and occassionally tea. When I go out to dinner (which for my family is often) I generally just drink water. In social settings it amazes me how often the non-alcoholic drinks are so limited. I never drink non-alcoholic beer, wine or champagne as the makers of these drinks attempt to flavor these like the real thing.  I remain extremely cautious of waking the sleeping beast who has the insatiable thirst for alcohol.

My marriage is at an alltime high with regard to respect, love and affection.  It as now a partnership with the trust restored.  We will be celebrating our 25th anniversary this year which is remarkable since we had been so close to complete collapse just a few short years ago.  My sobriety is a gift to my family and society in general but more importantly it is a gift I've given myself.  My path is no longer littered with empty bottles of alcohol or erratic behavior.  I am nothing close to being perfect but at least I no longer have this destructive item in my life. 

That's about all for now!