Well...judging by the date of my previous post, this is an overdue entry to say the least. My last post was back in January during my 1st recap and since it's now early September, of course, much has happened. To cut to the chase, I'm very proud to honestly declare that I've been 100% clean and sober since checking out of SSH last December! That is, not one sniff, sip, gargle, or even whiff of the dreaded 2 carbon compound better known as ethanol. With all my travel (Delta Gold - quickly headed to Platinum) I've literally had dozens of opportunities to jump back into the insanity while cloaked in relative anonymity. I remind myself that if I do start drinking, I know there isn't enough alcohol in the world to satisfy my thirst...so just best to never open that door again. I WILL NEVER OPEN THAT DOOR AGAIN!
The treatment at SSH definitely gave me the tools I needed to get me to where I am however I've also seen that the treatment is not a guarantee. I've personally seen a few of graduates slip back into their old self destructive habits...yes, addictions are a tough road and the fact is that there is no absolute cure with the exception of total abstinence. But seriously, we are a special breed whereas the only surefire cure is to stay away from alcohol. The choice to stop requires a full commitment on behalf of the patient. On the bright side, with full commitment, comes a multitude of benefits.
The past 8 months have been challenging in many aspects of life. My family dynamic has had it's ups and downs but with my current ability to handle stress and no longer contribute to the chaos, our home is now more of a safe zone than the poison palace it had been. It continues to be difficult for me to realize the precious time I wasted and the damage I inflicted on my family while under the influence. I am a different person but refuse to forget the darkness lurking in the bottle.
My wife continues to be extremely supportive and has been throughout my recovery. As we approach our 23rd wedding anniversary (Sept 17) I reflect on the wedding vow I made to her and all of our friends that I would be a good husband and partner through life. My dear, I intend to hold up my end of the promise...
My son just turned 18 and is exercising his need to be independent...at least in his choices of his life's direction. This is a challenge for any parent of which I'm probably typical whereas I still think of him as a child needing my direction. This at times does add to the stress although it shouldn't...he's a great young man and needs to follow his own path in life. I only hope he always remembers that his mom and I are his most loyal teammates.
I've had a few people reach out to me via this blog. It gives me no greater pleasure than to correspond with folks in a similar situation. You have my utmost empathy as it is a hellish trip we've taken.
A key to my success is to constantly remind myself that my choice to forever stay away from alcohol is just that...my choice. This is the ultimate gift I can give myself and the beauty of it is that this gift is also good for my family, who I love more than anything. The gift also touches my extended family and society in general. How's that for a selfish gift? This choice positively affects those who I love more than anything and even positively touches the entire world...gotta love that!
I guess that's about all for now...Life is Good.
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