Day 4 was an action packed day...full of great education and the misery of Duffy #2. The education part continued with more discussions on domestication. Again, domestication is how we are molded in our early years. It's explained that when born, we're pretty much a clean template regarding many of our "laws" or rules which we associate with what is expected, acceptable or considered normal. This is typically the set of rules our parents, teachers, etc. imprint within each of us during this period in our lives. Domestication is the framework in which we all live with whereas some of this is very positive and some, not so much. It's the not so much stuff that we've been asked to look at closely and to start developing strategies to modify. Real powerful stuff for a 6:30am meeting!
The second meeting of the day was delivered by Jerome and had to do with making ourselves "Bullet Proof" once we leave SSH. By Bullet Proof, this is intended to give us strategies to deal with bullets which might fly our way once we return home. The bullets can come from anywhere to include our own health, relationships, finances, etc. The bullets hit the triggers which may cause a relapse so you can imagine how important having a great bullet proof vest is once we leave. Each of us decorated a vest with thoughts of how we will cope with the bullets. thought mine was pretty cool and will definitely hang on to this as a great reminder of how I will stay true to my new goals.
Following the second meeting I had my Duffy #2. I was pretty scared going into this one since Duffy #1 really kicked my butt. Sabina was my "bartender". Shes a very caring nurse who is just wonderful in her goal to get us to hate the sight, smell and even thought of alcohol. So we went through the routine of the vasodialator, emetine, and this time was 8 drinks in rapid succession. I started barfing after drink #2. Sabina gives you just enough time to wipe your face before she hands you the next drink. Just think of that, puking after drink #2 with 6 more to go!!! They have you barf into a stainless steel bowl right at nose level. Of couse this does not drain so you get to smell and stare at this throughout the process. Then, just to keep the imprint more visual, there is a mirror right in front of you also so you get to see how great you look while getting through the process. Following a final barf after #8, I'm escorted back to my room with another bucket in the room to catch whatever's left. Then Sabina comes into the room about 30 minutes later with a final drink (referred to as the "Butterfly") of warm beer + emetine which basically empties the rest of the tank...literally! Then we have to stay in bed for 3 hours with the barf bucket and a rancid rag soaked with various types of alcohol to include vodka, tequila, red wine, brandy, gin, etc. Needless to say, it's a long 3 hours with plenty of time for reflection. They say once we're done with the treatment, it's difficult to even walk down the wine aisle at the store without getting sick to the stomach.
Once I recovered and got some dinner, I attended a final group meeting delivered by Alfred on the topic of Overcoming Helplessness. Another great talk which included some homework I worked on until about 11pm.
A highlight of the day was to call to my wife. It's very helpful to continue having her genuine love and support from home. I had taken so much for granted and I'm very hopeful that my stay here will help me get my life back on track. I know that all of my loved ones only wish for this, nothing more or less. Talk about a win-win situation!
Tomorrow (Dec. 1) is my Sleepy (sedation therapy) #2. The Sleepy's are a walk through the garden compared to the Duffy so this should be a great day!
That's about all for now....
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