Starting to get the hang of the routine. Each day starts with a 5:45 am wake up call. Someone comes into the room to take blood pressure, temperature and everyone weighs in. With all the puking going on, they don't want anyone to lose too much weight too quickly.
Each morning then starts with a morning group session. Today's was a continuation meeting focusing on the book "The Four Agreements" with today being the 4th Agreement (Always do your best). This session is called BOC or Breakfast of Champions. What a great way to start the day! Perhaps not as intellectually stimulating as the NYT but spiritually much more rewarding. This is followed by a real breakfast and then a second group session which in this case was led by a former Schick Shadel graduate (Kathleen S.) who then wrote a book called "Drink Up! A Recovery Road Less Traveled". Kathleen gave everyone a copy of her book which was really cool. It was an excellent session with someone who has been sober since 2005.
My Duffy will be this afternoon so I plan to get a run in this morning. Plan to get another 10K in and then do some more reading prior to my Duffy. Out for now...
Finally getting around to my evening journal entry. Today was a transformational day for me in many ways. I began to open up a bit and talk to more of the fellow patients. It's just amazing how similar all our stories are with the alcohol illness. Crossing paths outside of the Schick facility would leave me thinking that we likely have nothing in common...what a mistake that would be as we all have so much in common. The families we've affected, the deceit, the self doubt, etc, etc. It's also great to see the patients begin to change as their sobriety kicks in. The group meetings will also typically be attended by a few of the former patients, either returning for their 30 day or 90 day treatment. They are generally very positive about their experiences but also very honest with their struggles. One made a comment today that the in-patient treatments only give a moderate amount of support to resist the cravings but all have stressed that it's the other "homework" given which eventually empowers them to make life changes. We got a few more reading suggestions to include a couple focused on Family Healing. One book is called "The Family Recovery" and the other is called "The Voice of Knowledge". I'll definitely be sent home with some excellent reading material which will be great for me and perhaps something for the family.
So here is some detail on my Duffy. This is the most intense self-inflicted therapy I've ever had...no exception. The treatment starts with a requirement to drink at least 64 oz of water within 2 hours of the aversion. Once your number is called they take you into a very small room with a nurse. I was given an injection of a vasodialator which give a sensation of a fever, immediately followed by a fairly large dose of emetine. They give each drug about 15 minutes to start working and then start with the alcohol exposure. My drink of choice was vodka so this is the primary type of alcohol they used. They first start with 2 undiluted shots that we are instructed to swish in our mouth and spit out. By the time this starts, I'm getting some real strong stomach distress but not quite throwing up. This is then followed by 2 larger shots which are diluted in water. We are instructed to drink these quickly. I guess about 10 seconds following the second "drink" my flood gates opened full blast. I threw up and I had full-blown flu symptoms to include sweats, shaking and throwing up. Once I was able, I was given one last shot of emetine + warm beer and sent back to my room. They send you back to the room with a small towel soaked in vodka, tequila and red wine. We are then instructed to lay in bed with the alcohol soaked towel close to our bed and remain in bed for the next 3 hours. We're given a bucket to throw-up into and I probably did not stop until about 1.5 hours later. This was absolutely intense! I'm totally freaked out at the thought of another. The 1st Duffy has us take 4 shots total, the 2nd has us take 8 shots, the 3rd has us take 12 shots, the 4th has us take 16 shots and the final one is 20 shots. Now, since none of this actually stays in the gut long enough to be absorbed, the only outcome is getting totally ill...not that getting drunk was actually ever what I called "fun" but this definitely gives one a new appreciation of how toxic the alcohol actually is.
The 3 hours in the room is supposed to give us time to reflect on the damage alcohol has done in our lives. It's a pretty powerful tool since here I am in bed (I was actually in the fetal position) in agony with a rancid towel next to my nose reflecting on what went wrong to get me here and what I need to do to get back on track. It was during this time that I believe for the first time I found forgiveness for my father. I just know that if he could see me here that he would be extremely sorry and that he would be proud that I took this life changing step.
Tomorrow is another day. The treatment de jour is the sedation treatment. Most affectionately refer to this as a "Sleepy" treatment. Some speak highly of the treatment but all I know is that I have to fast and my treatment doesn't even start until 11:45am so I'm hoping for a good lunch menu.
That's about all for tonight...good night.
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